A really good friend of mine is going through a tremendous amount. It took a whole lot of courage for her to show me this and allow me to post this poem of hers. She wants others to know that they are not alone and that anger and depression are oh so real. It is painful and so hard to tell others how much we are in pain but unfortunately pain is a part of life and will not go away. Just barely out of her teens, she has a whole life ahead and hopefully the world will come to accept and love all so that we can all thrive be who we truly are.
My mind twists
Into so many directions
Thinking so many morbid thoughts
Of anger and depression
My mind veers
To a place I don’t want to go
To a field of dried up weeds
My soul is left alone
And I should smile
And I should be polite
And I should pretend
So I don’t make everyone sad
But I can’t.
My mind has wandered
Far from population
Thru murky sees it travelled
To a land inhabited by demons
My mind is captured
In thick deadly vines
Curling around my neck
Pressing the air out of my lungs
And I can’t smile
And I can’t be polite
I can’t pretend anymore
I don’t wanna make u sad
But I can’t.
For another moment.
Have you ever felt alone and stuck within yourself feeling so constrained that you feel like you have nowhere to go even though you are not physically locked up? The pain is real. A single mom from Reno, Nevada depicted this so well. Show some support in the comments. If you have something to share, a poem or some other writing, feel free to contact us and we’ll share it on the blog.
Like a Lion in the Zoo
Fierce, yet behind bars.
Alone, yet everyone is watching.
Clawed by my cubs, yet no one seems to care.
I growl, yet no one hears.
Crying, yet no one believes.
Courageous, yet blocked by the bars.
Behind Bars-stilted, unable to reach my potential. I dram of the wild where I have my independence to roam free and confident. BUT, I am behind bars, a lock and key and nowhere to flee. If I try to hide, they push me out into the open-“people got to see me” they say-and enjoy the view of the lion in pain as I release it as I pounce on my cubs.
Anxiety is a normal part of life, but for some it can be super intense and take away from their quality of life. Have you ever felt this way? This high school student sure has. Show your support in the comments!
I am taking submissions, so if anyone has something to share let me know. We hear you. We want to take away the silence from your pain.
When anxiety hits the roof: My heart is telling me to cry. Its pressing against my ribs in my chest. “Cry, Cry, Cry, just do it already, you will feel better” it says. My mind is in another place, it is telling me to keep it all in. “Don’t cry, you’re better than that”. My heart is overpowering. The tears are pushing against my eyeballs. The pressure is mounting. I do not cry. The intense feeling of overwhelming stays and envelops my body. I do not want to be around anyone for fear of them seeing that I am [inferior]. I hide in my room. I can not do my work. I wish I could cry. I want to feel better. I need to release the tension that my heart is pressuring for. I just want to go to sleep and forget about it all.
Anxiety is a part of life but when it overwhelms, something has to be done for it. It could be painful and intense.
This was written by a 30 year old mom who is brave enough to share her pain to give courage to others. Any reply, or comment would mean a tremendous amount to her.
They say that eyes are the windows to the soul but all they say is “oh your eyes are beautiful” meaning that all they see is the beauty in my soul. But pain, why don’t they see it, or are they just ignoring it? The pain I feel is so great. I put on make up to cover up the hate. They see the cover up, but not what is deep within. The pain, the loneliness, the hate, and the fear. I am small but they see me as strong. I am weak because of all what is within. I can not cry, although I want to. Tears to me is strength, not weakness and that is what I am waiting for. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. It’s been years. I guess I will wait some more. I will persevere no matter how hard. Even when I feel like I’m drowning, I can move on. I can excel. There no denial of the pain internally but what people don’t see is how hard I work to excel. It is painful, it is strenuous, it is me.
Here is a poem written by a 21 year old. It is powerful and painful. There are so many out there that are struggling. Let us work to support them so that they can stand up straight and tall and not feel so alone.
Losing My Balance
I try to find my footing as I walk along this path called life.
I keep walking, because if I stop, I may lose my momentum.
I am weighed down by a burden,
A burden so large, I am barely managing.
A bump comes on the road and I’m teetering to keep my feet from buckling,
In slow motion, I feel myself falling face forward onto the unforgivable asphalt.
I lost my balance.
It is so hard to get back up.
I need to let go of my burden.
I need to get help.
Loneliness is painful, especially if it is a result of the pain you are experiencing. Dysfunctionally Normal is prepared to feature your work anonymously to share with the many others who are feeling alone and share your pain. If you would like to submit, email Rachel: rachel (at) dsyfunctionallynormal.com!
Looking forward to hear from you and hopefully spit some of your pain in half.